The Michael Slot Manifesto

I’ve been struggling to understand our cultures extreme focus on contrasting Different and Normal. Excuse and indulge me a moment while I empty some proverbial closet space into the ether for all to see.

See, I’ve spent a large majority of my life feeling Different. Different from my friends, my family, coworkers, and other peers I’ve encountered over the years. I can’t describe the specifics for you. There was just something in my psyche that told me I stuck out. That I was strange, weird, off. Different. I’d laugh at unfunny things (they were funny to me). I’d get excited over the unexcitable or be passionate over things only I cared about. And I’d judge my character based on the results and reactions of my actions around the people I know and love and even worse, the people I didn’t. The world was a mirror, it still is. Reflecting our decisions back to us to allow us the opportunity to make sure we’re livin the way we chose. When I’d look in that mirror I didn’t like what I saw. I saw Different. Always different. I didn’t want to be different, I wanted to fit in. So I went on a mission. The things I saw would have to change. My individuality, gone, my identity, buried, my creativity, shuttered. All the things that made me feel different had to go. It was time to actionize to normalize.

I studied, made mental notes and pursued all the things normal people were expected to do. I got a degree, got a job, and bought a house. I’d compare my progress with those I thought were doing it best, just to make sure I was getting it right. I worked my ass off to do all of the things I was supposed to do to make sure I was Normal. To fit in. To be like everyone else. Sure, every now and then I’d slip up, I’d get a wild hair and go off and let my crazy out. But Normal would be there to greet me when I got done. I’d meet up with friends, we’d get drinks, tell stories and I’d realize it was time to step back in line. Too much dancing, not enough marching. That’s when I’d realize my Different was out of the cage. This was my life for years. Doing things I was supposed to , buying things because I was told to, working “good jobs” to maintain the life society and the world told me I needed to maintain in order to be part of it.

Then one day I realized I’d made it. It wasn’t ceremonious really I just woke up and found myself perfectly situated in the center of the rat race. My hard work had paid off and I had achieved a Normal life. I had blended into the bland. I had conformed to a lifestyle that by societal standards was exactly what it was supposed to be. I’d won. I had achieved Normal. I had successfully built myself into a cage of modernity filled with all the trappings of a Normal life, with a normal job a normal house normal cars and the normal amount of debt to accompany it all. After years of striving I could finally look in all those societal mirrors and be satisfied when I could’t see my Different anymore. And I was absolutely miserable. Was this really the American Dream? Sure it’s comfortable but I wasn’t happy. I had a lot of stuff but I never used it, I didn’t have time. If I didn’t spend all my time working I couldn’t afford to keep it. I didn’t enjoy my job. I’d spend all day waiting for it to end. To go home and eat, then sleep, then go back the next day. And if I were lucky I could do this for another 30-35 years. WTF? This is what it meant to be Normal? It can’t be. There must be something I missed. I thought maybe this is good and I’m just not good at it yet. So I put my head down and pushed on, determined to be Normal. Years went be like this and nothing changed. I made some money, I bought some things. But I still felt the same. Miserable and caged. What went wrong? I did everything to be Normal. I checked all the boxes, dotted all my T’s and crossed every I. What was missing?

One day it finally hit me. Being Normal Sucks!. It was right there the whole time. I was so focused on trying to be everyone else that I stopped being me. But who am I? I don’t remember. All I remember is that I was Different. And that I didn’t think I was supposed to be. And that I changed so I wouldn’t be. But now that I’ve done all the things I’m supposed to do and become the person I was supposed to be I know that wasn’t really what I wanted to be. It was time to reevaluate my situation. If I didn’t want to be Normal anymore what did I want to be? Abnormal? Dissimilar? Unique? Different? What would it look like then to do the opposite of what I had always done (thanks Tim Ferriss). What would happen if I embraced my different? What if I reframed my perception to see different, well… Differently. As a blessing not a curse. As something to express not hide away. As a gift. Ah Ha!

It didn’t happen all at once. You don’t just flip a switch on a lifetime of beliefs. You have to work on it slowly. Embrace small changes. Start believing in yourself again. There’s an awareness of our perception that each of us possess that we need to become tuned into (thanks Daniel Slot). Listen to your own voice. The one you’ve been drowning out with all the others. It takes time, it’s messy and it’s painful. But if we were all meant to be the same then we would have been created all the same. Even though we tend to act like sheep and lemmings it still goes against out nature. Our individuality is a uniquely human trait. We just don’t all have the awareness or the courage to accept that the things we feel that make us different are in fact the things that make us special. Unique. Dare I say perfect in the eyes of our creator. It’s not an achievement thing it’s a being thing. In this moment you, me, us as the collective are exactly as we are meant to be. It’s not something to strive for its something to embrace. All that Different that each of us is hiding is a part of that same complete package. Enjoy it. Explore it. Follow your curiosities (thanks Brian Grazer). Find that thing inside of you that you’ve denied a chance of expression. Then express it. Own it. It’s not only part of you it is you. And if there’s one thing I know that’s just as true as death and taxes it’s that the one person you can’t shake in this world is you. You’re stuck with yourself for life. Like it or not. So you might as well quit fighting with yourself, shake hands and move forward together (thanks McConaughey).

Don’t for a second think this will be easy. It will be the hardest personal undertaking you will ever experience. It will be a battle. Everyday will be a battle. Resistance wants you complicit and complacent. Don’t be. You must be vigilant. You’re facing an enemy greater than anything you’ve ever known. Resistance is the greatest unseen force on the planet and its one and only goal is to destroy (thanks Steven Pressfield). Do NOT LET IT! You’ll have to fight. Everyday. And some days you’ll lose and some days you’ll win. But you must continue to fight. The struggle to be okay standing out is far greater than the struggle to fit in and it means so much more and the gains are so much greater.

And while you’re fighting and struggling give yourself some grace. Nobody abuses us more than we abuse ourselves (thanks Don Miguel Ruiz). So stop it. Treat yourself with love. You deserve love. Read that again. You deserve love. You are doing your most important thing. Love yourself for it and treat yourself in that way. There are enough external battles to fight and the best way to fight them is with love from the inside. Remember you are already perfect in the eyes of the creator. You are a complete expression of that love (thanks Ted Decker). Live that way. Give yourself some love. And while you’re at it, give some to others as well. For all the inner battles, the heartaches, the faults and failures you’ve been struggling with, there are 7.5 billion other Different people struggling with their own version of those same demons. Let’s give them some love too.

So what do you do now? You’ve decided maybe different isn’t so bad. But what happens next? Now you have to listen. When its quiet what do you hear? What does your heart say? It will tell you. Your heart is the most authentic part of your being. When you listen to it it will guide you better than any compass. There is a legend buried inside of you that you’re meant to live. Only your heart can take you there (thanks Paulo Cuello). Be still, be quiet, and listen to what it has to say. You don’t need the destination. Only a next step. A Path or and trail. A track to follow. Try this “I don’t know where I’m going but I know exactly how to get there (thanks Boyd Varty).”

Once you find your track protect it. Cherish it. Remember resistance will come for you and will take many forms. It will try and derail you. Knock you off course. Discourage you. This is when your ego can become your friend. I’m not talking about the obnoxious ego. The bravado were all capable of. The pomp and circumstance of human self-fulfilling human desires. I’m speaking of the inner force designed to protect your most sacred pieces of you. Some say the ego is a bad thing and when misused I agree. But deep down the ego is also your shield. Your coat of armor for the arrows of criticism. The ego protects the words of the heart. Use it when necessary to keep you on track but only when necessary. Otherwise you’re playing with fire (thanks Ayn Rand).

Whatever your Different is it’s time to embrace it. It’s your path to freedom. Let it out and follow where it leads. If you’re an artist be an artists, or a poet, or a musician, or an athlete. I don’t care and no one else does either. Just be you. Unapologetically and undeniably you. Because the truth is the world needs you. We want to see you. The real you. The you that’s different than all the rest. The you that leaves this world with a story that can only belong to you (thanks Donald Miller). Stop holding out. Listen to your heart. Find your track. Welcome to you. Glorious you.

For the record I’m not preaching from any pedestal or soapbox. I struggle with life in the same ways we all do. I’ve been to dark places. I’ve stayed there. Been stuck there for long and scary periods of time and I’ve fought my way back. I don’t have it all figured out. I’m not sure we ever do have it all figured out. I just know what’s worked for me and I believe it can help you. Accepting my authenticity has led me down a very different track than fighting to be normal. In the past six months alone I’ve laughed harder, loved deeper, and lived larger than the last six years, maybe even sixteen. Life is vibrant, and visceral, and rushing around us all the time. Grab it, hold onto it. Be a part of it, don’t just watch it from the sidelines.

I’ll leave you with this final word from Neil Gaiman.

“The one thing you have that nobody else has is you. Your voice, your mind, your story, your vision. So write and draw and build and play and dance and live as only you can.”

The various “thank you’s” throughout this writing are from authors or artists I’ve found most helpful to that fight. Mentors or sidekicks for when the battle was raging. I list them below so perhaps they can assist you in whatever you’re going through.

God bless and good luck

“The Tim Ferriss Show,” hosted by author and blogger Tim Ferriss

The Awareness Journey, written by my father Daniel Slot

A Curious Mind, written by film producer Brian Grazer

Greenlights, written by actor Matthew McConaughey

The War of Art, written by Steven Pressfield

The Four Agreements, written by Don Miguel Ruiz

The 49th Mystic and Rise of the Mystics, written by Ted Decker

The Alchemist, written by Paulo Coelho

The Lion Trackers guide to Life, written by Boyd Varty

The Fountainhead, written by Ayn Rand

A Million Miles in a Thousand Years, written by Donal Miller

“Make good Art” a 2012 commencement speech by Neil Gaiman